I wrote this on 08/04/2014, at exactly 11:45 PM. My cousin was sleeping with my younger brother, since both my parents were at work. I was awake. (Uh.. Duh.) I had just had a shower that night, and every time I have one (this is ridiculous) I feel so.. uh.. clean. Yeah.
I guess reassuring yourself about a situation always solves at least half of your worries. I guess, for me, crying and talking to myself (Yes, I am half insane, I should think. ), helps my least important worries. Tonight, I feared that at the bottom of my stomach, all of my intestines had been all jumbled up together, and that I was going to throw up. So, over my experience (I had thrown up many times) I breathed in deeply in and out and I reassured myself time and time again that everything was going to be fine and I wasn't going to throw up (I had said to myself at some point that I wished I had a twin so I could tell him/her about how I was feeling so bad and that I wished I had one to reassure me and hug me when I'm down). Hey presto, that trick worked. I wasn't sick (Good on me ) and my duvet and aren't covered in green-yellow slob. Phew. I am doing fine as I am writing this, and hopefully (I really mean it when I say it) I won't be needing to run (as if I am in the Olympics ) down 12 steep stairs (throwing up on the way down), kneel down as if I am in church, and puke my guts out into the toilet as if I am singing the chorus of "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction (off key )
Then would come the anxiety, terror and "oh-mah-gawd-I-feel-like-a-idiot-right-now" feeling of having to trudge back up those twelve stairs (with a pale face, red eyes, and a butter-churning stomach) and knock on my mom's bedroom door and just stand there in the freezing cold doorway, and explain to my tired and (probably) annoyed cousin, Felicia, why I look so pale. "